I’m really tired of trying to be what other people think a “good parent” should be, especially since I’m raising neurodivergent kids. If you’re a parent of a child with ADHD, autism, or other differences in how their brains work, you might feel the same way.
The truth is, I’ll probably never be the “perfect” parent that you see on social media or that some family members expect. If you don’t believe me, just look at some of the comments on parenting posts online. Sometimes, people can be really judgmental, especially towards parents of neurodivergent kids.
And here’s why: I stopped trying to hide my family’s neurodiversity. Instead, I started to see it as a strength, not something that needed to be fixed. This is super important for kids with ADHD and autism because they often feel like they need to be different.
As a result, we all started to do much better in a world that wasn’t really made for us. We stopped trying to fit in and started making our own way.
So, here’s how I learned to stop hiding our family’s neurodiversity and make things better for my kids with ADHD and autism:
- First, we view differences as strengths (even when they’re hard). Instead of only seeing what our kids can’t do, we look at what they can do really well. This helps kids with ADHD and autism feel good about themselves, especially because they might have a harder time in regular school or other places. Even the hard parts, like being sensitive to loud noises or having trouble focusing, can teach us important things.
- Next, we create spaces that feel good to our senses. This means having quiet places when things get too loud or bright. We might use noise-canceling headphones or fidget toys to help with focus. This is especially important for kids with autism and sometimes ADHD because they can easily become overwhelmed.
- Also, we listen to our bodies instead of forcing ourselves to be “calm.” Instead of trying to be calm in the way other people expect, we pay attention to what our bodies are telling us. For example, if someone needs to move around, they can. If they need to do something like flapping their hands (called stimming), they can do that, too. This helps everyone feel better, especially kids with ADHD and autism.
- Finally, we make our schedules flexible so they work with our energy levels. We don’t have strict rules about when things have to happen. Instead, we try to go with the flow. This is really helpful for managing energy, which can change a lot for people with ADHD.
We don’t have to be “perfect” parents to be good parents. You are exactly what your child needs. Understanding and accepting your child’s neurodiversity is the best thing you can do.
🥂Therefore, let’s all be brave enough to be ourselves and create a world where our kids with ADHD, autism, and other differences can really do well.
